W.A.T.C.H.'s 10 Worst Toys of 2009: What not to buy your kid for Christmas
Thankfully, the kind people at W.A.T.C.H. (World Against Toys Causing Harm, Inc.) are ... er ... WATCHing out for you. Just like every other year since time began, this group has put together their list of the seasons "10 Worst Toys." Each toy appearing on this list has it out for your kid, so you better avoid them at all costs if you want 'lil Timmy to see Christmas 2010. [All joking aside, click through to see the quite serious reasons these toys have been banned. — Ed.]
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WALL-E Foam Rocket Launcher No matter how hard the toy industry tries, rockets and kids are just not meant to mix. (But, admit it, the YouTube videos are kinda hilarious!) |
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Moon Board Pogo Board With the warning, "Proper protective equipment is recommended for use by an inexperienced child," they are hinting that more experienced kids can be devil-may-care. Also: what child even has experience with such a toy?! It's NEW! |
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Curious Baby Curious George Counting: My First Book of Numbers Not even books are safe for kids anymore?! (They give them "ideas.") |
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The Dark Knight Batman Action Figure With those sharp ears, he's more like ... er ... "The Dark KNIFE!" Am I right?! |
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X-Men Origins: Slashin' Action Wolverine The first clue this toy is unsafe? The use of "slashin'" in the name. |
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Lots To Love Babies: Mini Nursery With so much love to give, these babies don't MEAN to choke your kid. They're just trying to hug them ... er ... from the inside. |
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Just Kidz Junior Musical Instruments Also has the distinction of being on the Campaign Against Improper use of the Letter Z for Pluralization Purposes (CAIUOTLZFPP)'s list. |
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CAT Rugged Mini The most egregious thing about the detachable wheels is not that the attached axle could stab your kid, but that it gives 'lil Timmy a misapprehension about Caterpillar's craftsmanship. I, for one, don't trust my mining infrastructure to anyone else! |
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Pucci Pups Maltese The hair falls out in clumps and can be aspirated, which is the same reason my parents had for never allowing me to play with Donald Trump's toupee. |
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Spy Gear Viper Blaster Son: "But Mom! Spy Gear is supposed to be dangerous! Billy's mom lets him play with toy guns ALL the time!" Mother: "I don't care what other parents do! MY child is NOT playing with toy guns! Now, shut up and clean daddy's AK-47!" |
There you have it. Avoid these toys and have a safe, choke/puncture/strangulation-free holiday!
Jeff Somogyi is the dealnews Media Editor. He likes to think that a little bit of danger makes the season a little more exciting. That's why he always gives a piranha for Secret Santa.
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