Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday are literally the Christmas of deals. (Christmas is the New Year's of deals, and New Year's is the St. Swithin's Day of deals. Our work calendars are complicated.) But here's the problem: Just like Christmas, every year, Black Friday deals seem to roll around a little sooner, making the deal season last longer than ever before. And yet, there are still no traditional Black Friday songs. (Rebecca Black tried, but then got distracted by partyin', partyin', yeah.) And so, armed only with plenty of holiday spirit, a generous serving of last year's eggnog that we found in the DealNews cellar (it's got the consistency of a depressed omelet, but it's probably still good), and a decent grasp of Fair Use laws, we've slightly modified six existing holiday classics to reflect the most wonderful time of the DealNews year. Here goes ... "All I Want This Season's DealNews" Sung to the tune of: "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey Inspired by: Thanksgiving vs. Black Friday vs. Cyber Monday: What to Buy Each Day I don't want a lot from DealNews During National Deal Week I just wanna keep my savings Like my eyebrows, totes on fleek I want you to let me know Which day will let me save the most No site I'd rather use All I want this season's DealNews "Little DealNews Boy (Deals on Earth)" Sung to the tune of: "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy" by Bing Crosby and David Bowie Inspired by: 11 Surprising Things You'll Find on Sale During Black Friday From Jeff Somogyi, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum Surprising deals to see, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum So, for Thanksgiving, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum Self-serving songs to sing, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum Rum-pum-pum-pum Rum-pum-pum-pum On Black Friday, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum (Deals on earth, can it be?) We work long shifts for you, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum (Save on wine, and discount beef) We help you save on things, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum (You'll save on drugs and storage) We'll make you say "ka-ching," pa-rum-pum-pum-pum (You might see Apple stuff priced reasonably) Rum-pum-pum-pum (And some tea) Rum-pum-pum-pum (And beauty) "Overcharged on Deal Week" To the tune of: "All Alone on Christmas" by Darlene Love Inspired by: Top 5 Stores for the Best Black Friday Deals Online in 2015 A Kohl's wind is blowin', but Newegg looks the part I'm looking for a bargain and I don't know where to start The Best Buy's offering tablets and phones But Target's Thanksgiving sales have grown and grown The music plays loud on Amazon MP3 A Prime account makes their two-day shipping free "People" might go shopping at Walmart, true But all I want is info, DealNews I've got to know Which store's got the best lows Because nobody ought to be overcharged on Deal Week "DealNews App Is Listing Discounts" To the tune: "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" Inspired by: Our Master List of EVERY Black Friday Ad Worth Buying Next Week Forget about Tout, forget about Vine Forget about Klout, I'm telling you why The DealNews App is listing discounts We're making a list, and checking it twice Gonna list the best things falling in price The DealNews App is listing discounts We've seen price cuts on TVs, we've seen the Apple Watch We've seen some consoles, tablets, phones, And drops on Dell laptops So forget about Tout, forget about Vine Forget about Klout, I'm telling you why The DealNews App is listing discounts "DealNews Thanksgiving" To the tune of: "Happy Xmas/War Is Over" by John Lennon Inspired by: 10 Ways Black Friday 2015 Will Be Different And so it's Thanksgiving And what have you learned? That more stores are closing? Or to look for free returns? And so it's Thanksgiving Unless you want shoes They'll kill you with shipping Those shoe-shipping blues It's a DealNews Thanksgiving And a Black Friday, too Let's hope it's a good one Without reindeer poo Stores are closing If you want deals Click to bookmark Now "Black Friday" To the tune of: "White Christmas" Inspired by: The DealNews team I'm dreaming of a Black Friday Just like the ones we used to list 'Cause we make our living Posting o'er Thanksgiving We rake in deals hand over fist I'm dreaming of a Black Friday With every Amazon-matched price Shop online to miss the in-store fights And may all your savings be Eds' Choice Related DealNews Features: Busted! These Are the 14 Biggest Myths About Black Friday 10 Things You Didn't Know About Black Friday 'I Bought 8 TVs at Once': Stories From People Who Have Camped Out for Black Friday
