Mother's Day is fast approaching and you know that you should get something for the woman who selflessly carried you around - in baby form - for nine months (give-or-take). To help you in your quest, we've put together an entire section of Mother's Day Gift Ideas. Of course, some of you will foolishly try to "go it alone." Well, if you're not going to listen to our advice about what to buy her, at least have the decency to avoid these 12 gift ideas: Anything even REMOTELY "kitchen-based" (pots and pans, sponges, etc.) A collection of XXXXXXXL muumuus and house dresses Draft-Your-Own-Will kit A nice dinner at YOUR favorite restaurant A copy of "Stepmom", "Throw Momma From The Train", or "Mommy Dearest" on HD-DVD A grave stone / cemetery plot A pack of cigarettes (unless you can remember her brand) Stolen jewelry 30-day free trial to Norton Anti-Virus Anything "As Seen On TV" A dugong-skin coat (or a coat made from the skin of ANY water mammal, really) A copy of "Oedipus Rex" Jeff Somogyi is dealnews' Media Editor. He has broken at least two of these "nevers" on Mother's Days past. Please don't try to guess which.See more inanity on his blog: The Somogyi Perspective.