This week's Rumor Roundup: Apple, Sony, Manhunt, and more

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Rumors are like flowers. You wait for them to grow, anticipating the day when they bloom. Then nine times out of ten they die because you forgot to water them:
  • ASUS manufacturing an Apple tablet computer?
    Steve Jobs says, "It'll be just like me: Sleek, stylish, and completely full of itself."
  • New 40GB PlayStation has a 40% hardware failure rate?
    Failure in hardware AND in the marketplace?! Sony, you are a double threat!
    Or is that a triple threat...
  • Sony's new, slimmer PS2 to get price cut in 2008?
    The Sony Marketing Meeting - A One-Act Play
    Sony Marketing Executive: Gentlemen! We are losing the console wars! There's just too much competition! How do we make the PS3 platform more appealing to consumers?
    Sony yes-man: Discontinue the PS2, so consumers have no choice if they want a PlayStation product?
    Sony Marketing Executive: Excellent! I agree! We'll DROP the price on the PS2 to $99!
    Sony yes-man: What? I didn't... Are you even listening to...
    Sony Marketing Executive: YES! That'll ensure that consumers will buy the new system, right? Right?!
    Sony yes-man: I quit.
    Sony Marketing Executive: Good! Good! Now, how do we feel about bringing back the PS1?!
  • December Xbox update to add Parental Timer feature?
    It's amazing what technology can do to alleviate the pressure of parents having to discipline their kids themselves. I remember when I was young my Atari 2600 had a parental timer - yeah, after a couple of hours, my mom would come by and turn it off. No coding necessary!
  • WhatsOpen.com to offer first Android app?
    Lamest Google announcement ever. Stock STILL jumps $100.
  • Target can't stomach Manhunt 2?
    Target is SO disturbed and disgusted by the game that it REFUSES to sell it in its stores (well, after the ones already in-stock sell out, of course). It'll also continue to sell it online. Now THAT'S how to take a stand against violent video games!
Jeff Somogyi is a dealnews Senior Staffwriter. He is also disgusted by Manhunt 2 and refuses to buy more than one copy of it.
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