Zune WiFi music store? Knowing them, it will be based around yet another new DRM scheme, frustrating users of any "Microsoft approved" device except the Zune. WWE games ported to the Wii? Parents of the world cringe in fear over Junior saying, "Watch this!" and launching a drop-kick into daddy's expensive 60" plasma screen. Google considering buying Sprint? Pundits speculate that it's so they can get their hands on WiMax. Then use the telco's towers to broadcast a single message: "Google is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful company I've ever known in my life." New Nintendo DS coming? Yes, it will happen, but only after the ink starts running out on its money-printing machines that are the current DS and Wii. New iPhone features coming? Wow. This one must be straight from "The Cupertino Center for the Research of DUH"! What?! You mean Apple will continue to improve the iPhone?! Preposterous! I thought that once it released something, it simply moved on to the next new thing, right? I mean, what new OS has Apple released since LISA? I certainly haven't heard of any! iTunes Store / Apple TV to get video rental functionality? Just as soon as Apple can figure out where to afix "Be kind, rewind" stickers to downloadable content. Sony to announce 16GB Memory Stick? Also: 160-minutes cassette tapes! *sigh* NO ONE CARES, ANYMORE, Sony! Google to team with American Idol creator? First project: America's Next Top Search Engine Algorithm. Xbox's Fall Dashboard Update to add DivX support? About time! I'm sick of having to trans-code my pirated mov ... I mean ... *gulp* Jeff Somogyi is a dealnews Senior Staffwriter. It's rumored that Simon Cowell called his PERL "pathetic".