Rumors make the world go 'round: iTunes to offer 99 cent TV show rentals? Finally! A way to pay for TV and not have to worry about getting to watch it again, later. HSPA+ Android phones coming to T-Mobile in September? Finally, plus speeds on HSPA phones! Yeah ... outside of all those recent LeBron rumors, this is the lamest rumor ever, right? TOPICAL! AT&T throttling upload speeds on the iPhone? Applying the Distributive Law of AT&T, you can re-write that sentence as, "horrible company does horrible thing". Now, the solution is obvious: AT&T continues to be horrible to the people who pay their salaries. QED. Android 2.2 coming to DROID on July 13? You know what I like most about the Android platform? Its fast-paced, constantly-evolving, fractured OS roll-outs. It means that I'm constantly in anticipation of an OS upgrade — and never thinking about buying a new phone. Looks like Google has hit upon quite the business model, here! Next Apple TV will be baked into a TV? Have a poor-selling device on your hands? Combine it with another device that everyone already owns, then sell the combo for MORE money! Hey, it worked for the Braun Back-in-ator — which was a back-hair trimmer / bacon cooker combo. Leaked pictures reveal an Apple-branded 1.18" touchscreen display? This, obviously, portends the advent of an iPod touch shuffle. With my fingers being what they are, in order for me to use this effectively, the screen would have to display only one button, labeled: "MASH HERE". ... For food-based comparison, 1.18" is about the size of a Cheez-It. Jeff Somogyi is the dealnews Media Editor. For food-based comparison, he is 58.5 Cheez-Its in height. (Which is, incidentally, his yearly Cheez-It intake.) Read more of his imaginings @dzheough on Twitter.