By Jeff Somogyi, dealnews Media Editor When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week: Apple Will Replace Ping with Twitter? They could replace it with PONG and it would be more useful. (See what I did there? Ping? Pong? YES, I KNOW you saw, I just needed to pad out this entry a bit.) [AppleB*tch] iPhone 5 Will Cost $800? Which is SO ridiculous because the current, unlocked version doesn't reach $849 or anything. Oh, wait! This rumor is about the post-subsidy on-contract price?! HA! Internet, Internet, Internet ... do you really think, after all these years, that Apple is that stupid?! [CNBC] Zuckerberg Says "We Are NOT Making a Facebook Phone"? The internet responds with, "AH-HA! You said "WE" not NO ONE! VICTORY is ours QED! Facebook Phone is a sure thing! (Seriously.) [AfterDawn] Apple Investing "Hundreds of Millions" in Twitter? After the run-away success of Google+, Apple has decided they want their own social network, too. But, seriously, PONG. (See what I did THERE? CALL BACK!) [TapScape] Eccentric Billionaire Cloning Dinosaurs? We're ok as long as they don't learn how to open doors. [The Mary Sue] Jeff Somogyi is the dealnews Media Editor. He knows this! It's a UNIX SYSTEM! See more of his Jurassinine humor on Google+ (WHY?!), Twitter or on his blog. Follow @dealnews on Twitter for the latest roundups, price trend info, and stories. You can also sign up for an email alert for all dealnews features.