Totally topical ... 5 to 15 years ago: Apple bringing in TiVo for next-gen Apple TV? I dub thee, "iTiVo". (Just because I think that name has a chance of winning the title of The Worst Use of Random cApiTaliZaTION Award.) free iPad engraving this holiday season? There's nothing quite as heartwarming as a device engraved with either a) A seasonal message that reads as foolish in other months (eg., "Ho, Ho, Ho! This iPad'll keep you warm!") or b) Having the giver choose something they think is clever, but turns out to be an inside joke you don't remember at all (eg., "Warts and all, eh, GOV'NOR?!?! HAHAHA LOL!"). Damon Lindelof rewriting "Alien" prequel? Great. It'll be about science vs. faith, pre-determination vs. free will, and a fat guy who doesn't lose any weight despite the lack of food. Oh, also: WAAAAAAAAAALT!!! (I love that gag.) white iPhone 4 delayed because it glows? No, seriously! A light inside the phone is "leaking" out through the plastic / seams. Some have argued it's Marsellus Wallace's soul. (Wow. Now THERE'S a topical joke!) Jeff Somogyi is the dealnews Media Editor. His wallet is the one that says, "Property of Jeff" on it. (Did you think it'd say something else?!) Read more of his topicality @dzheough on Twitter.