Rumor Roundup: Is the Apple Watch Delayed Because of Bad Batteries?
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When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week:

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Is Microsoft Buying Minecraft?
They got it for a real bargain, too: 10 gold ingots and, for some reason, a porkchop. MINEcrosoft! [Venture Beat] -
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Is Apple Buying Path to Get Into the Social Platform Business?
Google, start your photocopiers! Wait... [Apple Insider] -

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Did HTC Cancel Development of its Smartwatch?
Right before Apple announced its smartwatch! Coincidence? Or did Apple really just steal HTC's smartwatch, but HTC is too scared to say anything to the principal? Which is more likely? [Android and Me] -
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Will Warner Bros. Offer an Online Gaming Subscription Service?
Jumping on the "pay a little, get access to games you can't keep, but you get discounts on other, new games, as long as you forget that the 'discount' comes at the expense of a monthly subscription" bandwagon, are they? Classic. [Shack News] -

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Is DISH Network Going to Buy T-Mobile?
Your telco is quite a DISH, Mr. Simpson. To Serve Man (with a side of wireless). [Android Headlines] -
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Is the Apple Watch Delayed Until 2015 Because of Poor Battery Performance?
A stopped watch is right twice a day. A stopped smartwatch is just a bracelet. This is the wisest koan you will hear all day. (Have you achieved pure Zen yet?) [Mobile Marketing Watch] -
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Contributing Writer
Jeff Somogyi is constantly trying to come up with ways to surprise and delight audiences the world over. He takes humor seriously ... too seriously. (Honestly, we've never seen him laugh ... it's kinda creepy.)
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Tim Cook is turning into the Steve Ballmer of the tech world now!