On Men's Cloudmonster Shoes

If you're a better person than me (and you're not, sorry) you might be able to read "Cloudmonster" without hearing it sung to the tune of Goldfinger. They're the shoes with CloudTec cushion — Speedboard rushing. Such a proud monster.

I'll stop now. But if I have to suffer hearing it internally, you should to. Because in that sense, you probably are a better person than me. But it's not really much of a feat to be a better person than a Staff Picks Skeleton — I have bones to pick with everyone! Ahahaha.

Shoes!

Staples Emerge Vortex Ergonomic Gaming Chair

Sitting is good. Sitting comfortably is better. Thus, investing in a solid chair is good. That investment however need not break the bank and will in fact reduce the likelihood of back breaking occurring from improper posture as a result of chair cheapskatery. The Staples Emerge Vortex Ergonomic Gaming Chair is half price and $10 less than the last time we saw it. What's that, a bonus Post-it Pad 8-Pack for free with this purchase when using coupon code "29705"? It's true. It's all true.

Hori Piranha Plant Camera for Switch 2

Will any Switch 2 games be using the camera in six months time? Maybe not but the in-game video chat that runs at 15 frames per second should still be functional so there's that. This is all irrelevant though - the piranha plant is cute, $20 off, and cute. What games will support it down the line, none can say, but if we all hope for a port of Uno that allows us to relive the glory of the early Xbox 360 days of seeing random internet folk on camera consuming substances of questionable legality while slapping down a tactical reverse card, it'll all have been worth it.

No Boundaries Men's Burnout Polo

You see, if you have correct boundaries in life — let's say, between work life and home life — you're far less likely to experience burnout. But for those with No Boundaries, this Burnout polo will at least keep your hollow husk of a torso covered while you recuperate in the fetal position for a week or three. You can also wear at these times: most other times.

Small Appliance Deals at Target

There's no job in the kitchen that isn't better done by a bespoke appliance. You could brew your own coffee... but there are coffee machines. You could chop your own vegetables — but there are blenders and food processors. You could painstakingly submerge all your perishable food and delicious drinks in buckets upon buckets of ice, but that's 2024 talk — in 2025, we live in an age of mini-fridges. We also live in an age of discounts, which brings us rather abruptly to the point: you can save on all of these things. Now when people ask how much you spent on that rice cooker, you can tell them with pride, rather than admitting with shame. Your time is now.

Best Buy Clearance Deals

Among the many hundreds of steep discounts is one particular deal that raises an important question: Would I, the Staff Picks Skeleton, buy Starfield at $15? A younger me certainly played a lot of Skyrim, but things have moved on in the gaming world — worlds more reactive, gameplay less stilted, American Trucks more Simulated. My patience has certainly diminished. But $15 is a sweet spot for "game you might not like, but is certainly... big". This is an undue focus on one of nearly 1,500 discounted things, but you understand I know nothing about anything.