5 Deals You Need to Know Today: Do You Need a Massage Chair? No, It Kneads You
Those who would give up essential money, to purchase a full body massage chair, deserve to save money on said massage chair. Ben Franklin said that, I think. Check out this offer and more in our roundup of the five best deals we found over the last 24 hours.
Top Chair Deal
Real Relax Full Body Massage Chair
$689Four types of massage. Five levels of intensity. 12 massage programs. 690 dollars. 500 miles. 500 more. 1,000 miles. It's all in the numbers. Especially that last one, which both The Proclaimers and Vanessa Carlton hit upon as the perfect ratio of walking distance to affection. It's roughly 1,000 miles from Times Square to Kansas City, which Google Maps estimates would take 456 hours to walk. After walking non-stop — no breaks, no sleep, no relief — for 19 days, what would you rather see waiting for you in Kansas: the love of your life, or this massage chair?
Trick question: this massage chair would be the love of your life.
Top Coat Deal
adidas Men's Jacket Deals
Up to 60% off + extra 15% offAmong the over 50 jackets that get an extra 15% off via the promo code "OFF15", there's one that stands out. Not for its value, although that's assured. No, look at this, and consider that a) It's named "Firebird", just like the most appealing (if not the most playable) of Gibson's electric guitars, and b) when combined with the matching pants, it looks like an athletic wear answer to the Ghostbusters uniform. If those two nuggets combined don't spell sucsess, I don't know what does or how to.
Top Garden Deal
Aoxun 12x10-Foot Hardtop Gazebo
$465If you have ever needed a reason to doubt the efficacy of A.I, let the Amazon review summary be that reason. "Some think this aspect is good while others think it's not. Meanwhile, some think this other aspect is good, but others think it's not." Thanks, robot. My purchase has been informed. This gazebo doesn't feature artificial intelligence, and does feature anti-mosquito technology, so your life will be doubly free of annoying, blood-sucking pests.
Top Automotive Deal
Automotive Flash Deals at Walmart
Up to 85% offI'm jogging my memory in case I've forgotten something, but I do believe that the $545 clippable coupon Walmart has available in this sale is the largest of its kind I've ever seen. Granted, it applies to a $10k forklift, but still. If you ever wanted a $10.1k forklift to cost $545 less than that, your day has come. More realistic savings are available on jump starters, Carplay touchscreen gimmicks, seat heaters, and much more, but the seed has been planted. Your life is now tragically incomplete until you buy a forklift.
Top Generator Deal
Firman 4,450W Gas Portable Generator
$299Firman sounds like it's some real bottom of the barrel, post-Thunderbolts Marvel hero, who accidentally ingested a radioactive cone, and was imbued with all the tremendous powers of the fir: faintly pleasant aroma, doesn't shed much, and stands in your house around Christmas. Stan Lee had some dry years. Luckily, none of the above is the case, and instead, Firman is the name on the side of a powerful generator, making it powerful like Pepsiman instead of stupid like Spiderman. And now? Now it's half price.
