This Week's Rumor Roundup: iPad, iPhone, Apple, more

• New iPad to be slightly different / have new things in it?
  Another case-based Apple rumor? What is this, phrenology?! According to these bumps, the new iPad will be a spend-thrift and have pugilistic propensities!
• Mac App Store to open today?
  Somewhere out there, a fanboy has a tear rolling down his cheek, as this store opening is virtual, thus he cannot be first in line. (Don't worry kid, Woz would have found a way to cut you, anyway.)
• Microsoft Store opening in New York City in 2011?
  They'll FINALLY be giving that other computer store a run for their money! You know the one I mean! (The Sony Style Store, of course. They can't touch Apple Store! Don't be silly.)
• Windows 8 64-bit will be fully 3D, codenamed "Wind"?
  Yep. You'll be able to proudly boast: "My laptop has Wind!" How. Unfortunate.
• iPhone 4 for Verizon LTE "right after Christmas"?
  "Ho Ho Ho! And what did YOU get for Christmas, little boy?!" "Disapointed."

Jeff Grinchogyi is the dealnews Media Editor. When not grumbling about shoe sizes up on Mt. Crumpet, his hobbies include making children cry and stealing roast beast from honest, hard-working families. Follow his humbugs (yes, we're mixing stories, we know) on Twitter @dzheough.