Rumor Roundup: Will Apple Get Phone-ier? Star Wars Land? More?

Published

When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week:

Apple-Shaped Phone
  • Is Apple Going to Launch its Own Phone Service?
    i-Mobile? Ver-i-zon? iT&T? CingulApple? Sprint. (On that last one, the "i" is the "i" from "iPhone," you just can't tell.) [Business Insider]

  • Will Sony Soon Let its PSN Members Vote for the Free Game of the Month?
    Future email from PSN to all members, "Ha ha, we get it, it's funny, but please stop write-in voting for 'Seaman.' Thanks." [Gamerant]

Raccoon Driving A Car
  • Will GTA VI Take Place All Across America?
    Maybe even in your home town! Maybe even in your house! What's that sound upstairs? A raccoon... or GTA VI? (Or a raccoon playing GTA VI? You've got some clever raccoons in your town!) [Latinos Post]

  • Is Disneyland Adding a Star Wars Land?
    Disney's purchase of 14.7 acres of land is a dead giveaway, because, as we all know, Han did the Kessel run in 12 parsecs (and 12 is a close enough number to 14.7, give or take). Even more compelling? 12 parsecs is equal to 2.823349594704e+30 acres, which was, incidentally, the home phone number of Walt Disney (phone numbers were longer, back then, because people had more time to waste). [Inquisitr]

Siri Closeup
  • Will an iPhone Update Allow Siri to Transcribe Your Voicemails?
    When we can, uh, read their messages, instead of, like, listen to them, uh, you know... the end result will be that, uh, like, is that we'll really see how, uh, poorly... um... our friends can complete, like, a single thought. [Today's iPhone]

  • Is Jay Z Leaving Tidal?
    Tidal. You know, that celebrity-run music streaming service? Yes, it's still around! I'm not sure Mr. Z's departure would affect subscriptions that much, though. I mean, what's "not many" minus "a few"? "Some"? Unquantifiable. [BET.com]


Related DealNews Features:
Jeff Somogyi
Contributing Writer

Jeff Somogyi is constantly trying to come up with ways to surprise and delight audiences the world over. He takes humor seriously ... too seriously. (Honestly, we've never seen him laugh ... it's kinda creepy.)
DealNews may be compensated by companies mentioned in this article. Please note that, although prices sometimes fluctuate or expire unexpectedly, all products and deals mentioned in this feature were available at the lowest total price we could find at the time of publication (unless otherwise specified).

Comments

Leave a comment!

or Register
3 comments
michael bonebright (DealNews)
@regularg0nz0-- Darn those Roman numerals! We've updated the post :)
regularg0nz0
GTA IV? Why are they speculating about a game that came out seven years ago?
johnnylately
Disneyland story...False. They are already going to update Tomorrowland with Star Wars (but not much). The purchased lots are for parking and a few administration/maintenance buildings.

If you want Star Wars at Disney Parks, check out upcoming D23 announcements about Disney's Hollywood Studios.