Rumor Roundup: Is Apple Building a Car? Beast Gosling?

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Jeff Somogyi
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Contributing Writer

When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week:

Apple Car
  • Is Apple Working on an Electric Car?
    A nice side-benefit is that they'll produce an excellent car, but Apple's real goal has always been to trademark iCar then sue the heck out of iCarly. Just a shame Steve Jobs isn't alive to see his dream come true.
    ALTERNATE JOKE THAT LEAVES YOU LESS SAD: That's one expensive iPhone dock! [Mac Observer]

  • Has Microsoft Given Windows 10 a Hard Release Date of August?
    I understand this "ready or not, here it comes" approach is often necessary in business, if only to get products out the door... but Microsoft is historically on the "or not" side of that equation. (Zune 1, anyone?) (Windows 8, anyone?) (Windows ME, anyone?) [TechnoBuffalo]

Baby Link from Zelda
  • Will the Zelda Show on Netflix Be Like 'Game of Thrones' for Families?
    I wonder if producers understand what makes GoT popular. (Hint: It ain't elf ears.) [WSJ]

  • Will Apple's New MacBook Air Use Faster Intel CPUs?
    Well, it happened; I finally found a boring Apple rumor. Guess we can close up shop. (Just kidding. You're not getting rid of me that easily!) [Apple Insider]

Gosling Beast
  • Will Ryan Gosling Star in "Beauty and the Beast"?
    But who will they cast to play The Beast?! [MovieFone]

  • Will Apple's iPhone 7 Feature an Updated TouchID Button?
    Two in one day?! That's just zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. (See, cause I fell asleep, because that rumor was also very boring — then I sleep-typed a lot of "z"s, for some reason. Ambien makes you do weird things, in your sleep. I don't take Ambien. Unless I sleep-took it? This got too weird, even for me.) [News Everyday]

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Jeff Somogyi
Contributing Writer

Jeff Somogyi is constantly trying to come up with ways to surprise and delight audiences the world over. He takes humor seriously ... too seriously. (Honestly, we've never seen him laugh ... it's kinda creepy.)
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