Friends? Have yourselves some rumors: Xbox 360 to get "Wiimote" controller? Why should Wii owners have all the fun of smashed LCD TVs? Not to mention poor application of controller features to in-game moves? SHAKE the controller to JUMP? Now THAT'S intuitive! Yahoo! snubs Microsoft for AOL? Last we left Microsoft, it had just suffered a break-up with Toshiba's HD DVD format. This week finds it, still, unlucky in love. Yahoo!: I've had enough of your bullying and threat tactics! I'm leaving! Microsoft: YEAH?! You're going to AOL's, aren't you?! I KNEW you were cheating on me, with that ... that ... LOSER! Yahoo!: AOL is TWICE the company you are! (Yahoo! turns to leave. Stops at the door. Then turns back.) Yahoo!: And I think you KNOW what I mean by that! DOOR SLAM Microsoft (mumbling): I don't need you ... there are dozens of other companies who would love to be bought out by me ... YOU HEAR ME, YAHOO!?!? I ... don't ... (Microsoft starts to sob.) sigh ... New iPhone models in June? I give this rumor the time of day purely based on the fact that Apple DOES have a "If it's a year old, it's too old" policy (see also: iPod revs) so it's not impossible to believe that the Jobs WOULD announce a completely new phone in June. PlayStation 3 gets it's own "Red Ring Of Death"? Tin foil hat time: Seeing the love that MS got for it's up-front and frank handling of RRoD issues on its Xboxen, maybe Sony is laying the groundwork for a similar maneuver. Creating a deadly bug that they can swoop in and fix, making them look the hero? Also: Man has never landed on the moon. Wii price cuts? "Nope!" says Nintendo, "We've seen eBay. We know you guys are, like, totally happy paying through-the-nose for overpriced bundles through shifty, poorly-rated merchants. Ask us, again, about this subject when the Wii stops selling like electronic hotcakes." Jeff Somogyi is dealnews' Media Editor. Some days he would rather have hotcakes than a Wii. Especially because he's found that maple syrup poured over-top breaks a Wii.