This week's rumors are the next-gen of rumors: Next-gen iPad will have OLED screen? You might say that OLED displays are currently ludicrously expensive ... of course, you might say that's true for Apple products anyway. Next-gen Nook, the "Lite", coming in June? How do you make the worst eBook reader on the market better? By making it smaller and removing features, of course! Did Gizmodo get its hands on the next-gen iPhone? Signs point to "yes". Also: Enjoy the pics, people, because someone is probably going to jail for paying for stolen goods to bring them to you. Xbox Live TV channel? My request: "The Bill Gates Show," a sit-com about a geeky software engineer that inherits a haunted radio station. Jerry Seinfeld could be cast as the cantankerous old janitor. Throw in some guest stars and hilarity will ensue! Android 2.2 arriving on May 19th? Thought you were so cool that your DROID updated to 2.1? Yeah, THAT feeling's gone, isn't it? Hey, at least it gives you something to look forward to while slogging your way through your boring, 9-to-5 bleakness, right? Android 2.2 adds auto-update features? This story was broken by reliable news source, 4chan. As far as their "pranks" go, this one is kinda lame. Apple to sell concert tickets via iTunes? iScalp! Jeff Somogyi is the next-gen dealnews Media Editor. He won't be released until the end of the second quarter, once all the bugs have been worked out. His mind-thoughts are on display, for all to see, @dzheough on Twitter.