The Most Dangerous Toys of 2014: What to Get for the Kids You Hate

Some of the items on the annual "most dangerous" list are surprising, although you probably could have guessed on your own that the 23" hammer was questionable.

Ah, the holidays! They're a wondrous time in a child's life. Lights, songs, presents! Why ruin all that fun by getting your kids toys that'll harm them? That's not very cheery and in the spirit of things ... unless you celebrate some weird Cthulhu-type holidays, maybe.

Thankfully, the kind folks over at W.A.T.C.H. (World Against Toys Causing Harm, Inc.) are watching out for your kids. Just like every other year since time began, this group has put together its list of the season's worst toys. Each one on this list has it out for your kid, so you better avoid them at all costs if you don't want to spend Christmas morning in the ER. (But, with all joking aside, click through to see the quite serious reasons these toys have been banned.)

So, unless you have a real grudge against a certain child, your best bet is to avoid these things like Santa avoids the Island of Misfit Toys and have a safe, choke-, puncture-, and strangulation-free holiday!

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Jeff Somogyi
Contributing Writer

Jeff Somogyi is constantly trying to come up with ways to surprise and delight audiences the world over. He takes humor seriously ... too seriously. (Honestly, we've never seen him laugh ... it's kinda creepy.)
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Back when I was a kid, practically any toy could be used as a projectile or hammer to seriously wound (or worse) your sibling or had small swallow-able parts painted with lead paint. As a matter of fact, the same goes today(except maybe lead paint), so I don't see the point of singling out just a few. Just don't inhale your teddybear or run your bike into a brick wall.
Ha Ha! I love the "war hammers are a tricky gift..."

Funny (and useful?) article. Thanks!
I miss my lawn jarts.
It's like common sense is taught less. K5 now has HOMEWORK, 4th & 5th graders are smarter than their parents able to manipulate them quite well for their own agendas... with the governments' hand in our kids education... yet our kids seem to get dumber with more knowledge and less 'smarts'. We've GOT to get the government out of our schools. It seems to be a catch 22, with all the school needing $$ from government to stay open, our kids are taught to be dependant on Big Brother & the 'health agenda' than teaching general respect, trust, accountability, and common sense. When we force all the students into the lunchroom before school opens that's not teaching accountability nor trust when students feel watched by Teacher Guard all the time. Students can snap. I played with some dangerous toys as a kid and was smart enough not to get seriously hurt. The overlarge umbrella of safety teaches nothing. Kids learn better not to be dumb when they get a booboo or 2. That's real learning
Every year this list reminds me of a story in the Harvard Lampoon's 1968 parody of LIFE magazine (yes, I'm old) about lifelike Vietnam War toys for children, and this line has always stuck with me: "The thud of a pellet; a shriek of delight" as well as the fictional toy company slogan, "You can tell it's Mortell, it hurts like hell!" As kids we often shot suction-cup tipped arrows at each other, even after the suction cups fell off. How we managed to not do severe harm to each other I'll never know.
I honestly do not understand how the Ziggle made the list. My 3 year old loves it and the "thrashing" seems to be exaggerated. If anything, she gets a good deal of exercise.