Rumors: Will the Next iPhone Be Thinner Than Ever?


When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week:

Left 4 Dead 3
  • Will We Soon See Left 4 Dead 3?
    Hopefully, because with a win like that over Dead, Left will be one step closer to the playoffs! Oh, that's not a sports score? Sorry, sometimes I just go into a trance-like "talk about sports like I know what I'm saying" mode when I see two numbers together. [Vine Report]

  • Is Amazon Bringing Same-Day Prime Delivery to 11 More Cities?
    Soon, Charlotte, Cincinnati, Fresno, Louisville, Milwaukee, Nashville, Raleigh, Richmond, Sacramento, Stockton, and Tucson will know the ridiculous frustration one feels when they have to wait two days for a delivery. (PSST! Two days used to seem inconceivably fast, as a shipping speed. Many of us forget that.) [Consumerist]

Thor Loki Norse Marvel
  • Will The Next God Of War Game Involve Norse Mythology?
    Odin't ya know? This is a rumor and nothing is for Thor. When it comes to news like this, you have to be Asgard-ed as you can. For now, try to remain Loki. (But if this is true, it's gonna be Frigga awesome.) [Film Games Etc]

  • Will the Next Kindle Be Significantly Thinner Than Previous Models?
    Yes, but it sacrifices battery life. To make the device last as long as previous models, you have to snap it into a "battery case"... which will make it as thick — if not even more so — than past generations of the device. I know I normally make jokes about the news, but none of that was made up. [The Verge]

Star Wars Fozzie
  • Will Yoda Appear in Star Wars VIII?
    This is based on the news that Frank Oz (the voice of Yoda... yeah, sorry, kids, he's a puppet) was spotted on the set. This is wild speculation, though, and it's way more likely that his visit means that Fozzie Bear will make a cameo in the new sci fi film. [Games Radar]

  • Will the Next iPhone Be Significantly Thinner Than Previous Models?
    Yes, but unlike the Kindle, above, it's not going to sacrifice battery life to do it, just proving that Apple can do things other tech companies can not... or we're more likely to believe their lies. Or they're some kind of wizards who can bend reality. No one can say what the real answer here is. [Tech Insider]

Jeff Somogyi
Contributing Writer

Jeff Somogyi is constantly trying to come up with ways to surprise and delight audiences the world over. He takes humor seriously ... too seriously. (Honestly, we've never seen him laugh ... it's kinda creepy.)
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