By Jeff Somogyi, dealnews Media Editor When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week: Apple to Replace Gorilla Glass with Sapphire Glass on Next-Gen iPhones? Those folks who have dropped their cell phones will be excited to hear that this material is stronger and can better protect those ungloved iPhones. Those born in September will be doubly excited because *squee* birthstone! Alternate joke: iPhone: Based on the Novel Push Notifications by Sapphire [StableyTimes] 3 New Amazon Kindle Fire Tablets Coming in September? Summer has come and passed. The innocent can never last. Wake me up when September ends. A new Kindle was exactly what Green Day had in mind when they penned that song. [Tom's Hardware] Microsoft to Take Over the NOOK? It's these kinds of smart business decisions that put Microsoft on top! No one reads anymore! (You're not even reading this!) [MobileMarketingWatch] Fifth-Gen Apple iPad Coming in September? Seee yooooou, in September. See yooooou, when the summer's through! A new iPad was exactly what The Happenings had in mind when they covered The Tempo's version of that song. [AppleInsider] Next-Gen Motorola Droid MAXX to Have a 48-Hour Battery Life? And the phone will remain as slim as ever ... it's the 40-lb. backpack that holds the battery that's the biggest change. [UberGizmo] Next-Gen Blackberry to Target Gamers? Anyone tell developers that they have until November to get their games ported to the Blackberry? [The Verge] Jeff Somogyi is the dealnews Media Editor. Ignore his anti-Blackberry humor; he's just still mad because he wasn't able to email from his phone in the late '90s. See more of his grudges on Google+, Twitter or on his blog. Follow @dealnews on Twitter for the latest roundups, price trend info, and stories. You can also sign up for an email alert for all dealnews features.