Rumor Roundup: iPhone 5 in September? Replacing Steve Jobs?

Unlike a Whitman's Sampler, you don't have to pinch this assortment to guess what's inside:

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• Apple board searching for Jobs' replacement?
  Though, in an email to the Wall Street Journal, Jobs himself calls the notion "hogwash." He then scolded Flash for letting the Duke boys git away, agin, dag nabbit.
• iPhone 5 arriving September 5?
  9to5 Mac tells us that, according to Italian sources, the iPhone 5 will be here sooner rather than later. These rumors keep claiming it'll be debut earlier and earlier, and I can't wait for one to finally say that it was actually already released and you've been able to buy it for months. (Cue a minor chord and a chain-smoking man telling you about some Zone full of twilight.)
• Nextflix expanding to Spain?
  Ugh, I hate foreign films. All that reading! And in Spain, it's worse, ALL those films are foreign! (via Hot Hardware)
• Google+ open to the public on July 31?
  How do we know? Why, this Facebook post said so. (Please now imagine me looking over the tops of my glasses in stupefied doubt.)
  Also: You now have until then to come up with an excuse to tell your parents as to why you are not going to friend them on Google+.
• Batman: Arkham City will have episodic downloads?
  Additional chapters will be available as downloadable content, says VideoGameWriters. Or, as William Dozier might have said, "What's this? Our fine friendly freedom fighter felled by fiendish foes?! Pay 800 Microsoft points to tune in tomorrow; same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!"
• Snooki will appear on the next season of "Dancing With The Stars"?
  WetPaint reveals, with this info, that the term "star" has been devalued, yet again, into something looser than Snooki's morals.

  Meanwhile, on stage:
  Bruno Tonioli: "I LOVED it! Your dancing looked like wild, drunken shambling after a passionate night out! You ... oh ... I think Snooki just threw up on Tom Bergeron."

• RIM launching BlackBerry Music service?
  According to reports from The Inquisitr, it'll be called BBM — the "M" stands for ... no. Why would you think it stands for "music?" It stands for "messenger." Seriously! (OK, the full name is BBM Music.) Plus, if you listen closely, you can hear RIM scraping the bottom of the barrel ... or is that it's rasping last breath?
• Apple to acquire Hulu?
  That's what 9to5 Mac suggests. If they do acquire it and shut it down like Chef Ramsay after a botched service, then we'll know that Steve Jobs is heading towards a "Most Dangerous Game" scenario. One in which it's all about the thrill of the kill and he's no longer interested in acquiring new companies, just obliterating them. He's gone mad.