By Jeff Somogyi, dealnews Media Editor When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week: Apple Sending Out iPad mini Event Invites Next Week? I hope this rumor turns out better than the one about me getting an invite to my 5th grade class' Halloween party. (I sat around all night dressed as a witch waiting for a call that never came. To this day, I cry whenever I see candy corn.) [CNN] Microsoft to Buy Rdio? Finally, someone to help them out! They're so poor they can't even afford to keep the "a" in their name! It's not a merger, it's relief. [For added fun, figure out what you're "web2.0 name" would be by dropping all your vowels. I'm Jff Smgy!) [PC Mag] Google Buys Face-Recognition Company, Viewdle? One day, Gmail will recognize that you look sad and hide the depressing emails and bills from you until you are in a better mood. "Cheer up, Jeff, tomorrow is another day!" "Thanks, Gmail. Sigh." [TechCrunch] Microsoft Not Denying a Microsoft Smartphone Means They Are Definitely Working on a Smartphone? "We're the only bread company that says we don't put arsenic in our loaves. If the other bread companies don't, why aren't they saying so?!" (Who said that? God help me ... I think I stole that joke from The Prairie Home Companion?! Dark days.) [CNET] Jeff Somogyi is the dealnews Media Editor. His features don't cause brain hemorrhages. If other writer's stories don't, why don't they ... AUGH, MY BRAIN! See more of his hemorrhaging thoughts on Google+, Twitter or on his blog. Follow @dealnews on Twitter for the latest roundups, price trend info, and stories. You can also sign up for an email alert for all dealnews features.