When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week: The "Cheap" iPhone 5C Will Not Include Siri? "Siri? Does Apple hate me, because I'm too poor to buy their expensive version?" (No response except for soul-deep ennui.) [DigitalTrends] Is Facebook Working on New Ways for Celebrities to Interact with Fans? I don't even want to interact with my own parents on Facebook, what makes them think I'll ... Huh ... Ashton Kutcher does look remarkably like Steve Jobs! *Like* [AllThingsD] Can Scientists 3D-Print Living Kidneys? England rejoice! This means we're halfway to a 3D printed steak-and-kidney pie! [MSN News] Will Emperor Palpatine's Ghost Be in Star Wars: Episode 7? "And I would have gotten away with it, if not for you meddling Jedi and your wookie!" [IndieWire] Can A Laser Determine When You Will Die? They always could ... if it's a "death laser" and pointed right at your face, Mr. Bond! [The Sunday Times] Will There Only Be 4 Million iPhone 5S This Quarter? That's less than one for every 79 people in the U.S.! My god, the Apple Store is going to be like the cornucopia on the first day of The Hunger Games. [Apple Insider] Related dealnews Features: Point of No Returns? Stores Are Tracking Your Returned Merchandise History You Can Earn $263 a Year Just by Unlocking Your Android Phone VIDEO: What Happens if BlackBerry Goes Defunct?