By Jeff Somogyi, dealnews Media Editor When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week: Next Star Wars Film to Focus on an Older Luke Skywalker? "Back in my day, we used The Force to fight Vaders and things! Not like these young whipper-snappers, using it to open space-beers and listen to the space-music in space-bars!" [MoviesWithButter] LG Will Resurrect WebOS in Smart TV Form? I imagine WebOS as a reluctant hero, coming back from the dead to help save LG's Smart TV division. Just like when Buffy's friends pulled her back from heaven so she could go on fighting vampires. Yes. Just like that. [BGR] Touch Screen Shortage? Downside: Fewer touchscreen devices in the market in time for the holiday shopping season. Upside: People stop touching so many things with their filthy, filthy fingers. Ugh, I have to go sanitize, just for thinking about how gross it all is. [DigiTimes] Microsoft Is Going to Buy Netflix? Netflix CEO, Reed Hastings, lets out that deep breath he's been holding in, hoping no one would notice that Netflix is in dire straights hoping someone would offer him money for his slowly sinking company. Well, you've won, Mr. Hastings! You've fooled them all! Enjoy your big check. [Benzinga] Apple Working on an Internet Radio Service? If this is what is keeping the new iTunes from being released, I'm going to be mad. First they say, "in October", now they say, "in November." It's the most frustrating #firstworldproblem I've experienced today! [Dvice] Jeff Somogyi is the dealnews Media Editor. The news about iTunes was even worse than that time he realized he was out of Extra Bold Sumatra K-Cups. Hear more about his cushy yet easily-derailed life on Google+, Twitter or on his blog. Follow @dealnews on Twitter for the latest roundups, price trend info, and stories. You can also sign up for an email alert for all dealnews features.