Rumor Roundup: Master Onion Returns? Curved iPhones?

We heard these nerdy and techie rumors through the digital grapevine.

When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week:

  • Assassin's Creed: Black Flag Does Not Run at 1080p on Xbox One?
    I guess fans of high-def assassinations need to look elsewhere. Now that I said that, you'll feel like a weird creep for choosing a PS4. [Game Front]

  • Will the New Microsoft CEO Sell Off Its Xbox Division?
    It's all part of Stephen Elop's "back to our core model" plan. That is, only selling products that are no fun and aggravate the users. [Game Trailers]

  • Is the iPad mini Retina Delayed Because of Burn-In Problems?
    Somewhere out there, After Dark just dusted of its flying toaster and sat down next to the phone to await a call. [Apple Insider]

  • Will the Next Blackberry OS Update Include the Google Play Store?
    Because it's natural for, say, Target to open a Walmart pop-up shop in its retail locations. [Android Authority]

  • Will Jennifer Lawrence Play a Young Han Solo in the Upcoming Star Wars Sequels?
    Does she have what it takes to join the pantheon of great, cross-dressing actors that include such screen luminaries as John Travolta, Adam Sandler, and Eddie Murphy?! [Access Hollywood]

  • Is a New Parappa the Rapper Game in the Works?
    !!! Finally, an update to the title who created the entire "press a certain button when we tell you to because that's fun somehow" genre of games! HAYATATATATACHA! [Stick Skills]

  • Will the iPhone 6 Have a Curved Screen?
    Finally, the little elves that live inside those magical devices will have a half-pipe on which to skateboard. [c|net]

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Jeff Somogyi
Contributing Writer

Jeff Somogyi is constantly trying to come up with ways to surprise and delight audiences the world over. He takes humor seriously ... too seriously. (Honestly, we've never seen him laugh ... it's kinda creepy.)
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