When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week:

• Is Apple Working on a Pen/Stylus for Their Next iPad?
  (We noted this last week, but there's been new developments since then.) It'd be a 180-degree turnabout for then, because Apple has always shied away from using stylii, explaining that not using one's fingers to interact with a tablet was considered "less intuitive." (In the same way using a ballpoint pen is "less intuitive" than dipping your hand in ink and smearing your signature on your rent check with your bare fingers.) [Apple Insider]
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• Will the Apple iWatch's Battery Last for Only 2.5 Hours?
  Oh, that's just the low-end estimate for "heavy use." That's fine, because surely no one is going to use their fancy, fun, expensive new brag-toy very much to show it off or anything. [Apple Insider]
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• Will the Apple iPhone 7 Have a Built-In, Pop-Up Joystick?
  An extendable, snap-off-able, pop-up joystick won't ruin the clean lines of the iPhone, or anything. If this happens, it will be an indication that Jony Ive has had a nervous breakdown. Please call the hospital. [Christian Today]
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• Is Samsung Going to Manufacture 75% of Apple's A9 Chips for Their iDevices?
  Lesson learned: Rip off Apple and get sued by them, earn huge, lucrative contracts as a chip supplier. Take notes, Snapdragon! [Ubergizmo]
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• Is Chris Pratt Going to Play Indiana Jones?
  If I were Chris Pratt (and who among us doesn't wish they were?!), I'd start dressing like Indiana Jones all the time, but deny any rumors about having the roll. I'd deflect questions about my clothes, too, in that charming, roguish way I have when talking to reporters. Then me and my raccoon friend would have space adventures in Pawnee! [Deadline]
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• Is a Han Solo Video Game in the Works?
  It's being delayed by a huge problem with the game's fighting mechanics. (See, every time Han gets into a blaster battle, the game pauses and waits for the Internet to decide who shoots first.) [Gameranx]
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• Rumor Roundup: Is the iPad Getting a Stylus? Fast & Furious iPhone 6S? More?
• POLL: Will You Still Buy an Apple Watch if the Battery Only Lasts 2.5 Hours?
• The Best and Worst Things to Buy in February