When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week:

• Starbucks to Offer Mobile Coffee Purchases?
  Much to the dismay of beleaguered interns everywhere, it's only ordering from your phone for in-store pickup. Someday, low-man-on-the-totem-pole, someday! [Bloomberg]
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• Has Apple Ordered 90 Million iPhone 6 Phones?
  Sounds like a lot, right? But even if you line them up, end-to-end, they would only reach 3% of the way to the moon. Make more phones, Apple! [Geeky Gadgets]
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• Does This Blurry Photo Reveal Something About Assassin's Creed 5? (see above)
  Yes, it takes place in a time before glasses were invented. (Because it's blurry, you see! Or maybe you don't see, because you are a time-traveler from the era before glasses?) [Gameranx]
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• Could Flappy Bird Return to the iTunes Store?
  It should come with a free Apple Care upgrade, so we can rage-throw our phones across the room. Amiright?! [InRumor]
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• Is Aaron Paul Joining the Cast of "Sons Of Anarchy"?
  Aw, man! I hope he doesn't get type-cast as an actor who can only play characters reacting to / about meth. Yo. [Examiner.com]
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• Will Apple's iOS 8 Update Have Better Maps and Public Transit Directions?
  There goes Apple again, pandering to their usual elitist snob clientele! You know, those uppity jerks who use maps and ride the train. Makes me sick! [Today's iPhone]
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• You Have 7 Days to Subscribe to Amazon Prime at the Lower Rate
• Abercrombie and Hollister's New Retail Tactic: Lower Prices Across the Board
• Apple Wants More Music Exclusives; Does This Hurt the Consumer?