Rumor Roundup: Are Lightsabers Coming to Disneyland?
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When the Internet runs out of news, it starts making things up. We think this is funny, so we round up all the lies and speculation and put them here. We call it the "Rumor Roundup" and we do it all for you! This week:

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Will the iPhone 6S Be Available in Pink?
Looks like the Change.org petition put together by Mary Kay, the girl-gang from Grease, Alecia Beth Moore, and the 11th track on Aerosmith's "Nine Lives" album finally got enough signatures! [Silicone Angle] -
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Will Google's Wireless Service Only Work With the Nexus 6?
If how they handle their OS on devices is any indication, each new device will have a proprietary form of WiFi communication. You'll see friends WiFi updated faster than yours, while you stay in on weekends, in the dark, constantly tapping "check for updates," even though you know your phone's manufacturer has forsaken you. [Android Headlines] -

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Is a Star Wars Exhibit Replacing EPCOT's Innoventions?
Who needs a boring ole room full of cutting-edge science, when you can have an exciting new room full of cutting-edge science fiction? (Lightsabers. Lightsabers are the literal cutting edge of science fiction.) [CBS LA] -
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Is "Force Touch" Control Coming to the Next-Gen iPhone?
The screen does different things according to how hard you press. For instance: If you press hard enough, the screen cracks. Innovation! [Patently Apple] -

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Do We Know the Villain in the Suicide Squad Movie?
His name is Antiphon, but who cares? Instead, let's talk about the logic of how a movie where all the main characters are already villains can have a villain. Is the villain of a villain a hero? Why can't the world be simpler to understand? [blastr] -
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Will the First Run of Apple Watches Be "Only" Three Million?
Even if all of them are the lowest-end "Sport" versions, that's an estimated $1,050,000,000 in revenue... and that's good for the economy! By not wearing a watch, you'll be no better than a common communist!
PS: If all of those watches were the top-of-the-line model, the figure would be $51,000,000,000. [G 4 Games] -
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Contributing Writer
Jeff Somogyi is constantly trying to come up with ways to surprise and delight audiences the world over. He takes humor seriously ... too seriously. (Honestly, we've never seen him laugh ... it's kinda creepy.)
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