By Jeff Somogyi, dealnews Media Editor Start off the New Year right, by resolving to read these rumors: New Guitar Hero in 2012? For a minute there, I thought that, as a society, we moved past playing with tiny, fake instruments. Boy, am I relieved I can still pretend to have musical aptitude! [StickSkills] iPad 3 to Launch on Steve Jobs' Birthday? There is no better way to remember the memory of someone special who passed away than with a hunk of plastic and wires. For an extra-special birthday rememberance, remind everyone they can purchase fart apps on it, too. [AppleInsider] Apple to Announce Two New iPad Models? According to PCMag, a "mid-range" and a "high-end" model are purportedly coming. This would leave the iPad 2 to compete in the "price-sensitive market." Yes, my wallet is very sensitive to a $500 sticker price. Or maybe this means they're going to drop the price of the iPad 2 to $200? PFFFF! Wa-hahahahahaha! Right! Good one. Samsung Galaxy S III Will Have a 3D Display? I hope they try to market the phone calls as being "3D," too. "Omigawd! It feels like the caller is sticking out of the earpiece and into my ear canal!" [dvice] Wii U Will Have an App Store? Yay. Another platform for app store darlings, Angry Birds ... and fart apps. Yay. (Yes, that is two mentions of fart apps in one Rumor Roundup! A personal best!) [Tom's Guide] Apple's iTV Will Offer a la Carte Channel Subscriptions? You might scoff because you think that the cable companies would be against un-bundling individual items from a bigger package, but remember: It was Apple that had the chutzpah to demand offering single songs from albums for download — AND get the record labels to take it. So, pretty soon, we'll realize that we now have the privlege to pay more for a la carte channels through Apple, than we would ever have paid for those same channels, bundled from a cable company! Progress. [ReelSEO] Jeff Somogyi is the dealnews Media Editor. If this Rumor Roundup is particularly cranky, it's because he wrote it in the final hours of his Friday, right before taking some time off. Also: He's resolved to be more cranky in 2012. See more of his crank on Twitter or on his blog. You can also sign up for an email alert for all dealnews features.