9 Things That Are Cheaper When You're Ant-Man
A dude who can, at will, shrink down to the size of an ant? Sure, that sounds like a fun way to pass the time, but we're not sure we'd be into the "fighting evil" part at such a small scale.
Ant-Man hits theaters this week, and we're sure there's some in-movie explanation about how he's stronger at his smaller size, so he won't get squished by the first pedestrian's misstep onto his face. But we'd still be terrified that it'd happen. Irrational Fears-Man!
However, since our real secret identity is as The Deal Finder ("Defending humanity against over-paying, one deal at a time!"), we're more interested in exploring the money saving aspects of Ant-Man's ability to get teeny-tiny, to use the scientific term.
So, in an effort to get even more excited for the movie, here's our list of the nine best money-saving reasons to be an Ant-Man!
Big Screen
Buy the smallest TV you want, it'll still look huge when you're ant-sized! (And reception will always be great, because you've got your own antenna.)
Really Big Mac
Skip the Costco membership fees, because all food purchases are bulk food purchases when you're ant-size.
Pant-Man
Only XXS sizes left in the clearance rack? No problem for an Ant-Man! In fact, even those diminutive sizes will have to be taken in... a lot. Maybe you should just stick with doll clothes?
Sleep Like a California King
Even the smallest bed is bigger than the biggest big bed; however, the phrase "Don't let the bedbugs bite" takes on a terrifying new dimension.
Put the FUN Back in Funerals
Funerals are way cheaper when your body fits in a matchbox. Being a Marvel superhero means you're also probably going to die at least once, when circulation numbers start to fall, so the savings will add up!
Good Clean Fun
Soap and shampoo last much, much longer when you're small. Just be careful not to get washed away down the drain.
"My Other Car Is an Ant"
With an ant as your primary mode of transport, car insurance is a thing of the past! (Until that GEICO lizard eats your sweet ride, that is.)
A Little Happiness Goes a Long Way
Though your body is smaller, your crushing loneliness and despair remain the same size. Thankfully, at your smaller size, mood-med pills are huge.
The Belle of the Anthill
For the She-Ant-Men (Ant-Women? Wasps?) out there, makeup is a one-time purchase!
Up-side: Being Ant-Man can be a fun and money-saving experience. Downside: Super villains want to kill you. Like, every day. But don't all our lives have their ups and downs?
True believers, tell us: If you could shrink to ant-y sizes, what are the ways you'd use your power to save money? Share your thoughts below!
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