Sam's Club 1-Year Membership

The best price we've seen for membership this year? Beating out a prior $20 deal, which was also great? You must not have had a membership in the last six months to be eligible? The answer to all is yes. It's a $36 savings and the time to join the ranks of Sam's Club is now. Now!

AMD Ryzen 9 5950X 16-Core 3.4GHz Desktop Processor

Not only is this AMD Ryzen 9 5950X CPU 60% off at eBay but it's also $49 less than Amazon is charging at the time of writing. Not only is this AMD Ryzen 9 5950X CPU 60% off at eBay and $49 less than Amazon is charging at the time of writing but it's also at the best price we've ever seen in any condition. Not only is this AMD Ryzen 9 5950X CPU 60% off at eBay, $49 less than Amazon is charging at the time of writing, and at the best price we've ever seen in any condition but it's als- I'm being told by my editor to stop this at once. The more I write, the more harm I do.

Costco Gold Star 1-Year Membership w/ $40 Digital Costco Shop Card

Is it a coincidence that right as Sam's Club offers a huge discount on a membership, Costco barges in waving around a $40 gift card? Not only is it almost certainly a coincidence, it's also a fun way to pit two retail giants against each other in gladiatorial combat. To Sam's Club, we give the sword and shield. To Costco, a trident. To BJ's, who we'll include on a whim, we give that dumb net thing. What was that. And now they must fight to the death. And while they distracted with that, we'll eat all their hot dogs.

Nike Men's or Women's LeBron Witness 8 Basketball Shoes

"JUST4MOM" is the gateway to saving $58 on this pair of basketball shoes for men or women. However, you must be a Nike Member to avail. However, it's free to become one. However, there's a catc- actually no, there isn't. Make account, apply code, enjoy shoes. If only life was so similarly simple.

Home Depot Spring Black Friday Event

You might have thought Black Friday was a November event. You might have thought it was a Friday event. But now look: Home Depot have made a fool of you, and all you get in return is... oh, lots and lots of discounts. That might be okay, actually. We're looking at 25% off storage and organisation; up to 30% off patio, grills, and more; up to $200 off tools and outdoor power equipment; and up to $2,300 off kitchen appliance packages. And instead of November, it's in April, which is objectively a better month, on account of it being now rather than five months ago, or seven months hence. Just plain chronological facts.