Sam's Club 1-Year Membership

The best price we've seen for membership this year? Beating out a prior $20 deal, which was also great? You must not have had a membership in the last six months to be eligible? The answer to all is yes. It's a $36 savings and the time to join the ranks of Sam's Club is now. Now!

Harman Kardon Citation MultiBeam 700 Soundbar

$800 off? The best price we've ever seen? What in tarnation is going on here!? Adding the Harman Kardon Citation MultiBeam 700 Soundbar to your cart drops it to its final resting price of $199.99 with free shipping. Quickly now, before someone at Harman Audio realizes they've blessed us with a preposterously (too?) good deal and decides to be a shabaroon and take it away from us.

Nike Men's or Women's LeBron Witness 8 Basketball Shoes

"JUST4MOM" is the gateway to saving $58 on this pair of basketball shoes for men or women. However, you must be a Nike Member to avail. However, it's free to become one. However, there's a catc- actually no, there isn't. Make account, apply code, enjoy shoes. If only life was so similarly simple.

adidas Men's Wide-Brim Hat

Imagine the scenes after you buy this. Swaggering about in a garish new hat, you'll seem to say, "Look at me, Rex Banner! I have a new hat!" But Rex Banner isn't real. This hat is real, and so are the savings, and so is the fact that the entire repertoire of cultural references available to the DealNews editorial team comes to an end sometime around 1998. Hat!

Urban Outfitters Sale

Interestingly, Urban Outfitters Inc. also owns the Anthropologie clothing brand, which I think technically makes Anthropologie "Suburban Outfitters". And they also own Free People, where I once saw a relatively well-known country music singer and guitar player shopping for his stage outfits, which I think technically makes Free People "Keith Urban Outfitters". Some of that was a lie, and I'll leave you to determine which part. Meanwhile, we'll be over here, relishing the extra 40% off you'll get whenever you add a item in this Urban Outfitters sale to your cart.

Home Depot Spring Black Friday Event

You might have thought Black Friday was a November event. You might have thought it was a Friday event. But now look: Home Depot have made a fool of you, and all you get in return is... oh, lots and lots of discounts. That might be okay, actually. We're looking at 25% off storage and organisation; up to 30% off patio, grills, and more; up to $200 off tools and outdoor power equipment; and up to $2,300 off kitchen appliance packages. And instead of November, it's in April, which is objectively a better month, on account of it being now rather than five months ago, or seven months hence. Just plain chronological facts.