TomTop offers this Dad Bod Waist Bag in several styles for $8.99. Coupon code "DADBA9" cuts that to $5.99. With free shipping, that's the lowest price we could find by a buck. This canvas bag features one zippered compartment and an adjustable waist belt with side-release buckle. Styles range from flat to flabby -- you can get an automatic beer belly without a drink, 6-pack abs with no gym time, or a literal front-butt.

Note: This item ships from China and requires 10 to 20 business days for delivery. The countdown timer on the product page does not reflect an actual expiration time and resets daily.